Suck on that one, Lou. Why don't you and your queerish catcher go toke a J to that one, you fucking hippie. Don't come to the south side talking shit about a boost in ticket sales, bitch. For the last time, you don't fuck with Ozzie Guillen. Ever.
Ozzie has gotten the White Sox back on track, and the south siders are just 4 games back from the lowly Detroit Tigers. All of the sudden the bats are starting to get it going and our pitchers are actually getting this amazing little thing called run support. The Sox have averaged almost seven runs per game in their last ten games, which is almost seven runs per game more than their season average. Jermaine Dye is just continuing to be an All Star and A. J. Pierzynski is continuing to be my favorite baseball player ever. Podsednik has been a miracle coming back to the Sox, leading the team in batting average and stolen bases despite only playing in 52 games for the Sox thus far. All that and Carlos Quentin is due to come back from the DL after the All Star break. Hells yeah.
If we could just find a fifth pitcher who didn't look like a struck match and wasn't named Jose Contreras we would be all set to make a deep playoff run. Maybe we can work Poreda into the starting rotation to see what he's got? I don't know, but Contreras needs to be moved. Him and the elite athlete that is Bartolo Colon. Despite sporting one of the sickest hair cuts ever, he is just dead weight. A metric ton of dead weight.
And if you need another reason to jump on the White Sox bandwagon--of course you don't--we have a cake walk into the All Star break. We took two of three from the Dodgers, the team with the best record in baseball. We took two of three from the Cubs, the team that everybody hates, even Barack Obama. We are going to finish up the sweep of the hilariously terrible Tribe tonight. Then we get a four game series against the Royals, another three game sweep of the Tribe, and then a three game series against the Twins. Looks to me like we are winning 9 of our next 11 games, at least 8.
Now we roll. So jump on board people, there is plenty of room. For fucks sake, it's Ozzie Guillen, how can you not believe.
ASALAMALAKUM, ONE LOVE